Thursday, May 24, 2007

Keys? Keys? Oh, crap.

Six things to do when you've locked yourself out of the flat and are sitting on the front steps waiting for your housemate to come home:

1. Read The Melbourne Times and wonder at the ratio of real estate ads to editorial that's not about local politics.

2. Ring your mother.

3. Try picking your own lock with a piece of wire, and fail.

4. Regret not hanging out more with the tough kids in school, who could have taught you how to pick a lock with a piece of wire, in between calling you 'poofter' and beating you up.

5. Send tipsy text messages to friends inviting them to hang out somewhere that isn't your front step.

6. Alarm your neighbours when they walk around the corner unexpectedly to find you necking your bottle of chardonnay because otherwise it would get warm.



Tim Norton said...

7. Ring Tim and walk the two blocks to hang out at his house!!!

richardwatts said...

Damn, why didn't I think of that?! Probably because Mike was already homeward bound on the tram...

mskp said...

"because otherwise it would get warm".

that has to be the lamest and most adorable excuse EVER for solo drinking straight from the bottle.

you know, in my pollyanna way, i actually thought how much worse this would have been for you, say, last year?

now you have:

a] a flatmate


b] a mobile phone

hooray for both [and for wine drunk at the appropriate temperature]!

TimT said...

Stuck outside the house with only the Melbourne Times?


Anonymous said...

What about peer miserably through the window at all your things in there, looking smug and inaccessible. That's what I usually do when this happens...wait, that's hardly an inspiring suggestion.
hello Richard!

richardwatts said...

Hello Vanessa! *hug*