Six things to do when you've locked yourself out of the flat and are sitting on the front steps waiting for your housemate to come home:
1. Read The Melbourne Times and wonder at the ratio of real estate ads to editorial that's not about local politics.
2. Ring your mother.
3. Try picking your own lock with a piece of wire, and fail.
4. Regret not hanging out more with the tough kids in school, who could have taught you how to pick a lock with a piece of wire, in between calling you 'poofter' and beating you up.
5. Send tipsy text messages to friends inviting them to hang out somewhere that isn't your front step.
6. Alarm your neighbours when they walk around the corner unexpectedly to find you necking your bottle of chardonnay because otherwise it would get warm.